Coach for The Journey Blog

The Proposal

I have been at work on a proposal for writing a book of narrative non-fiction on the project. It's been interesting to stop trying to write pieces of the book and to move toward the big picture. It's actually been quite fun and enlightening. Nothing like trying to write your first book!

I am in the process of researching literary agents and trying to find a good match. There are some with whom I would love to work as I read their approach to being an agent. (If anyone can put in a good word with Sarah Jane Freymann...and yes, there are others but I digress.)

I am in the process of sending out query letters and will see what, if anything, happens next. And no, I have not written the book yet, at least not in its entirety. I have written enough to know I can write it and how I would continue to write it. So, that seemed like a good place to stop and focus on the book proposal.

Onward!

Who Is the Hero?

In The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell studied the world’s mythologies and distilled them into their basic elements and structures, “the monomyth,” also known as The Hero’s Journey.  He draws on the themes that are so common across cultures and time periods that we recognize them as uniting us in our humanity even as we may differ culturally.

Who is the hero? Campbell writes,

The cosmogonic cycle [the story of the creation of the cosmos] is presented with astonishing consistency in the sacred writings of all the continents, and it gives to the adventure of the hero a new and interesting turn; for now it appears that the perilous journey was a labor not of attainment but of reattainment, not of discovery but of rediscovery. The godly powers sought and dangerously won are revealed to have been within the heart of the hero all the time... From this point of view the hero is symbolical of that divine creative and redemptive image which is hidden within us all, only waiting to be known and rendered into life. (p. 39)

The divine creative and redemptive image which is hidden within each of us…what a powerful source of energy, inspiration, and wisdom. This is the antidote to the fearful part of us that wants to remain small and not see ourselves as important or capable of having an impact on the world. A uniquely powerful element of The Hero’s Journey is that this is a journey not only of discovery but of re-discovery. The hero learns that the strength she seeks has been within her heart all the time. This is a story of revelation and recognition of what is already present.

I am interested in The Hero’s Journey primarily as a process. In particular, I am identifying the final stages of the journey as having to do with the creation of legacies. This is not to minimize the content of archetypal stories in understanding the psyche. Campbell has researched and written an impressive review of world mythology that is worth reading in detail. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD explores the depths of the feminine archetype of the Wild Woman in her book Women Who Run with the Wolves. This is a review of powerful aspects of the female psyche represented cross-culturally in story. Many others have studied the themes of mythology as they relate to the human experience.

Here, though, we are focusing on the process of the journey, particularly as the internal journey is manifested externally in the world.

What have you re-discovered in yourself that you now understand to have been a part of your essential self all along? How is that part of your calling? How has that aspect of your heart been expressed in different stages of your life?

 

Project Update

Hello everyone!

Yes, it's been a while since I've written here. I'm still getting used to the idea of a blog! I have been gathering your stories and wisdom and am now winding down the survey. Over 100 women participated! Originally, I had hoped for 20 responses so I am thrilled with the generosity of the women who gave it a go.

Since I am ending the survey, I will send email notifications of new blog entries through my email rather than through Survey Monkey where I had housed the survey.

I am integrating the reflections on legacy from the survey with the stages of The Hero's Journey. I am most interested in considering The Hero's Journey as a process for self-discovery and identifying one's legacy.

Women and Legacy

Why is this a crucial time in history for the question of women and legacy? There is a confluence of factors that make this a particularly salient time for embracing legacy. The first is that we are living longer. We are experiencing an extended and vibrant mid-life the ramifications of which have yet to be fully explored. Further, women are successful in ways that were rare in previous generations. There is a surge of women who have “proven themselves” professionally and are still asking “what’s next?” Not in the restless way of never being, doing, or having enough, but in the deep sense of a call to purpose that has not yet found completion.

And yes, women do want to give back. A friend made an interesting comment to me that “giving back” implies that it’s OK to take more than one needs. It may, and this would be consistent with the shadow side of legacy. Certainly, we have witnessed in recent years the way some business owners act unethically, gain huge profits for the shareholders, and then donate large sums to charity. Then, they are recognized for their good works. We’re not at a loss for examples of the shadow of legacy.

Yet, so many of the women I talk with do think in terms of giving back because they feel gratitude. They are grateful for what they have, grateful for their success, and exquisitely aware that they did not get to where they are today on their own.

Young women are entering the workforce with greater opportunities. They are coming of age when there are more models of women in leadership. And women’s styles of leadership are being recognized as distinct and necessary for the changing realities of a more global awareness. The ability to lead with collaborative engagement is much more common and valued than in the past. We are more aware of how our actions politically, economically, and environmentally have a profound impact around the world. Gone are the days of the maverick, the cowboy, or the good old-fashioned isolationist. Whether we like it or not, our business practices, our lending practices, even the choices we make about how we feed ourselves profoundly affect people both around the world and here at home.

What can I possibly do that would make a difference? My question is not what would make a difference but, first, what is yours to do?

Historically, women have rarely been invited to consider their legacies. A woman’s children were considered her legacy. Raising children that are physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy is an incredible legacy. And, that is one possibility among endless choices. The point is that women get to choose and the choices available are far greater than was true for the women who came before us. This is a unique time in history for women to open their minds to the enormous impact their legacies will have on the world.

The Hero's Journey: The Story of Transformation

Originally posted on 10-18-08

Why use archetypal stories as a resource for defining your legacy? The Hero's Journey is a template for transformation. It is the distillation into essential elements of mythic stories, archetypal adventures, and world religions. The first part of the journey describes how the hero is personally transformed. The second part of the journey is about how the hero returns and transforms the community.

The journey has three main phases: separation-initiation-return. In a nutshell, the hero is called to a deeper life, leaves what is familiar, goes through many trials and tribulations, finds sacred helpers along the way, wins a decisive victory, and is forever transformed. She returns to the community and has powers, strengths, or gifts that she uses to then transform the culture. Her job becomes to teach from the wisdom she has gained, in whatever way is hers to teach these lessons.

Campbell describes a concept called the "world navel" as the "umbilical point through which the energies of eternity break into time (p. 41)." The hero becomes the conduit for this flow of energy. She is transformed by the journey and returns to the community with gifts that allow energy to again flow in the world. The hero feeds the people, literally or spiritually, so that the community lives and thrives. This may be represented as food for the masses, the re-greening of nature, streaming energy, or the flow of grace. This very last part of the hero's journey, the unlocking of energy, the sharing of gifts, blessings, and wisdom from the journey of transformation is what I mean by true legacy.

The Power of Women's Friendships

In reviewing the survey responses, I have found some interesting statistics. In response to the question "Who encouraged you to consider your contribution to the world?", women responded "friend" most frequently. In fact, there has been a trading off of the first place answer to this question between "friend" and "teacher." Both are fascinating. And both responses are more frequent than either "mother" or "father".

Most of us may not be surprised by the importance of friendships to women. But I am pleasantly surprised to see that the development of one's legacy is a focus of these friendships. I am curious to know about the context of these discussions. I know, for myself, these discussions are a natural part of a women's group that I belong to. But I am sure the issue of one's contribution to the world happens in all kinds of friendship circles, whether it is volunteering together, working together, supporting each other in parenting, mentoring another woman, etc.

What is your experience with friendships helping you to define your leagcy?

The Call to Adventure

In The Hero's Journey, the call to adventure often comes via a messenger or herald. It signals the "mystery of transfiguration" that is the beginning. It can range from the personal, such a growing up or awakening to the self, to the communal, such as taking on some task of historic importance, to a spiritual illumination. The transformation results in the death of the former self and a re-birth into something new.

The call to adventure frequently takes place shrouded in darkness, the forest being a favorite setting. The messenger of the adventure is often seen as dark and terrifying or veiled, representing the unknown. Even with this, the hero is attracted to this figure and follows the messenger as a guide. While the story may be told as an adventure out in the world, in essence, the hero is ushered in to the realm of the unconscious "for the frog, the serpent, the rejected one, is the representative of that unconscious deep wherein are hoarded all of the rejected, unadmitted, unrecognized, unknown, or undeveloped factors, laws, and elements of existence."

The hero is called to confront his own depths. "Destiny has summoned the hero and transferred his spiritual center from within the pale of his society to a zone unknown."

What do you remember about how you were called to confront your own depths?

About the Project

For those of you who are new to the Women and Legacy project or would like some more information about it, it may help to give you some background.

I have been practicing psychotherapy for 20 years and have also added coaching into my work. Working with the process of transformation has been the focus of that work. In both of the therapy and coaching arenas, I work primarily on an individual basis with people. However, finding ways for women to connect regarding their journeys, their legacies, and how they give something of themselves feels important and often difficult to find. Over the past year, the call has become stronger and clearer for me to work on this, so it became time to act.

The main focus of the project is how women reflect on their life experiences and how that has an impact on their personal legacies, or how they give back to the world. My inspiration comes from all of the women I have known and/or worked with who are doing wonderful things in the world. This may be something they quietly do in solitude, or something about how they relate to others, or projects and work that address problems in our society. They care about and for the world, not because they've skated through life without any problems or obstacles, but because of their life experiences, both positive and negative. They know that they have been changed by the challenges they've dealt with and they incorporate that into what is meaningful in their lives.

It is the internal journey that makes its external expression in the world meaningful. This is why I chose The Hero's Journey. It connects the internal and the external and gives us a framework for seeing how both are exquisitely important in life. More on The Hero's Journey in another post...

Women and Legacy Project

Greetings!

Here is my first foray into the world of blogging. I've decided to start a blog about the Women and Legacy Project to update you on the project. I will begin to flesh out the concepts from The Hero's Journey and include reflections as to how that relates to women and their legacies as the surveys are coming in.

For those of you who have completed or plan to complete the survey, I want to give you my heartfelt thanks. I am amazed each time I read the responses. What comes so strongly though is the beauty of your stories. So much so, that I decided that the starting point of the book will be about beauty. I realize the survey took effort. Some of you told me that you were reviewing your lives for quite some time during and after taking the survey. Some of you told me that taking the survey in itself was transformative. And some of you were confused at points and I hope that with more discussion, I will be able to clarify things.

Thanks to each one of you! There will be more to come.